Rite of Rejection (Acceptance Book 1) Page 19

“He’s going to separate you.”

  It’s like he knew the one thing that could get me to pay attention. “You have thirty seconds,” I say, my arms crossed in front of me.

  Eric takes a huge breath. “These are fence posts. I was sent out to inspect the concrete and make sure the poles are holding. They’re building a fence to run right down the middle of the PIT. Women on one side, men on the other. They plan to finish it to correspond with the Acceptance ceremony.”

  I’m on him in a second, the collar of his red uniform gripped in my fists. “If you’re lying to me, Eric, so help me, I’ll end you.”

  “I swear,” he says, his hands flying up in the air in surrender. “You’ve got a week, and then everything changes.”

  A sharp band of pain wraps around my chest, the pulsing squeezes making it hard to breathe. I push him back and wipe off my hands, disgusted from being that close to him again. “I have to go.”

  “Wait. I have something.” Eric digs a fist down into the pocket of his pants and comes back out with something small and shiny. “A small shop by my apartment sells items confiscated from the PIT. You should have this back.”

  He takes a step toward me, but I hold out my hand to stop him. “That’s close enough. Just toss it over.”

  Eric pulls back and tosses the item across the few feet separating us. I catch it with one hand. I know what’s in my fist without looking. Resting in my palm is the delicate, woven knot of my grandmother’s necklace.

  I smile despite myself. After all the things I’ve lost in here, this was the last I ever thought I’d see again.

  “I’m so sorry for what happened.”

  “No. You don’t get to apologize. You don’t get to feel better after turning us in, after getting Molly killed. “

  “That wasn’t supposed to happen. No one was going to get hurt.”

  “Is this supposed to make me feel better?” I hold the pendant up in my clenched fist. My mind fights against the dual instinct to hold the heirloom as close as I can and throw its tainted metal into the dirt. “Should I understand now why you betrayed your own family?” Why did it take me so long to see who he really is? I don’t need him and I doubt I ever did. I’m stronger than anyone gave me credit for, including myself.

  “Becca, I—”

  “My name is Rebecca.”

  Eric opens his mouth, but snaps it shut. He nods his head as if he’s meeting me for the first time. And he is. At least, he’s meeting the new me. I turn and march away, but only get a few steps before Eric’s cold voice has me turning back around.

  “I suppose you think I should have kept my mouth shut,” he says, hands splayed out to the side. “And we could be living unhappily together somewhere outside the PIT.”

  “How dare you?” My fists clench and I raise my tightened fingers to hit him, but Eric grabs my wrist before I can make contact. I pull away and he lets go without a fight. “Don’t you dare pretend to know me or what makes me happy.”

  “What makes you happy will always be a mystery to me, but I have a pretty good idea that being married to me isn’t it.”

  Heat creeps up my neck and I bet a piece of stale bread that a pink flush is spread across my face. “You don’t…I might…”

  “I’ve seen the way you look at Daniel. Staring at him when he explains something technical with the Noteboard like you can’t soak up enough of him.” Eric slides his hands into the pockets of his wrinkled uniform and looks at me for only a moment before turning his attention to a loose rock in the pathway. “With me, you were always kind and respectful. I like to think you even showed a bit of admiration for me. But not love. You couldn’t give me your love when your heart already belonged to him.”

  He’s right, though I’d never admit it. I can pretend that given enough time I might have come to love Eric, but I’d never truly love him. I love Daniel and constantly pushing him away isn’t going to change that.

  “I have to go.” I turn away without saying good bye, but Eric isn’t done yet.

  “You’ll tell them? Warn them what’s happening?”

  I turn around so he can see my face and know that every word I say is the truth. “What I do or don’t do is none of your concern now. And neither are Elizabeth and Daniel. You gave up your family. I hope it was worth it.”

  I turn on my heels and run back to the bunkhouse as fast as I can, but without the landmarks of busted crates and piles of refuse all the streets look the same. The setting sun isn’t making things any easier.

  I dash down row after row until the buildings start to look familiar. Up ahead of me a tall, dark figure paces in front of a building and I keep running despite the stitch in my side. Daniel turns to the sound of my feet and I run into his arms.

  “Rebecca, I was about to come looking for you. Where—”

  “No time.” I lean into his chest and swallow against my dry throat. “Inside.”

  Daniel doesn’t argue with me, but pushes open the door and helps me inside to one of our creaky chairs.

  “You’re back. Becca, what happened?” Elizabeth stops pacing by the corner and kneels in front of me at the table. Daniel brings me one of our stolen dinner bowls filled with collected rainwater. I suck it down and lean my elbows on the table.

  “Rebecca.” Daniel sits down across from me and takes my hand. “What happened?”

  “I know why they’re clearing out the PIT. They had to make room.”

  “For what?”

  “Out by the edge, they’re putting up posts for a new fence.”

  “Why?” Elizabeth stands and leans both hands against the table. “They already fixed the broken spot where we tried to get out.”

  “No,” I pound my fist against the table, desperate for them to understand. “This one isn’t going around the PIT, it’s going through it. After the ceremony, they’re going to separate us. Men on one side, women on the other.”

  “How do you know?” Elizabeth asks, her voice leaking out, barely above a whisper.

  I’m still holding my grandmother’s necklace, but it feels like a hot coal in my hand. I pull back my arm and fling the silver knot into a darkened corner, the metal making a tinkling sound as it hits the wall and slides to the floor. “Eric told me.”

  Time freezes for a second as the impact of my words hits them. Elizabeth sinks to the floor in slow motion, her face locked, with wide eyes and open mouth. Daniel barely moves. His head, arms, legs are still as stone, but his fingers press deeper into my hand as if he can forge a link between us that can’t be broken. I can’t let them fall apart. I need them.

  “We have to stop this from happening, so both of you snap out of it right now.” Neither of them responds so I kick the table leg and pound my empty fist on the loose boards. Daniel at least looks up at me. Elizabeth makes an indefinable noise between a growl and a moan.

  “I mean it. Get up.” I kick the table again and this time they both respond. “Get up.”

  “What do you want us to do? Rage, storm, start a riot?” Elizabeth is back in the hole she fell into when Molly died, but we don’t have time for that now.

  “No, that’s what they’re expecting. They cleared the place out; we don’t have anything to riot with but rocks and sticks. Besides, what’s a couple thousand prisoners when you have the strength of the Cardinal? We need something that’s bigger than just us.”

  Daniel’s face holds a little bit of the old excitement he got whenever explaining something technical. “You have an idea.”

  I don’t have a plan. What I have is anger, and right now that’s good enough. “Acceptance ceremony is in a few days. They plan to broadcast a distorted picture of the PIT. Show everyone how kind the Cardinal is. But what if we could show people what things are really like?” I look at Daniel because Elizabeth is still despondent on the floor. “What if they knew the truth about who gets put in here?”

  Daniel lets go of my hand and walks a few paces away from the table before turning back to me. “You’re talking ab
out hacking into the live feed.”

  With his words, the plan takes shape in my head. “You can do it.” I get up, and this time I’m the one grabbing his hand. “You’re amazing with computers. I’ll get one for you if I have to break into the Admin building every night and beat the doors down.”

  “You don’t need to do that.” Daniel bites his bottom lip and his eyes flash to the door.

  “Yes, I do. I…we can’t lose you.”

  He shakes his head. “That’s not…” He looks over my shoulder to where Elizabeth is still sitting on the floor. “We can’t do it.”

  “Don’t say that.” I sound desperate, miles away from the self-assured woman who put Eric in his place only a few minutes ago. I can’t help it. “I can’t risk losing you.”

  He pushes my hand away and takes a step back from me. The pain of his actions slices at my exposed emotions. His words shout at me across the few feet separating us. “They’ll reject Patrice.”

  “Who’s Patrice?”

  “My sister.”

  Daniel told me a long time ago he had a sister back home, but in all this time he’s never mentioned her again. It’s clear he hasn’t forgotten about her. “She’s up for Acceptance this year, isn’t she?”

  Daniel nods, the movement barely visible in the minimal moonlight shining through our window. “I won’t destroy her chance to have a normal life.”

  I reach for his hand again, and this time he doesn’t pull away. I need to say something, anything, that will convince him he can’t give up, but anything I say will sound like I’m asking him to sacrifice his sister. “You can’t be sure of what will happen.” I hate myself for what I’m about to say, but it doesn’t stop me. “She could be Rejected even if you do nothing.”

  Daniel throws my hand back at me. “Shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t understand any of it.”

  “Then help me understand. You know more about the Machine than you’re telling us.” I force my arms to stay glued to my sides. I don’t trust myself not to reach out to him again. “Please don’t shut me out.”

  “No. It won’t change anything.” Daniel bends down to pick Elizabeth off the floor and guides her near-comatose body over to a creaky bed.

  “You said my brain is what landed me in here. So let me use it. Tell me what you know.”

  “Don’t you get it?” Daniel turns back to me, but refuses to meet my eyes. “What I know got me in here. I won’t put you at more of a risk and I won’t jeopardize Patrice’s Acceptance.”

  Daniel tucks Elizabeth in. The resignation in his slumping shoulders is more than I’m willing to accept. “I’m stronger than you give me credit for and I’d be willing to bet Patrice is, too.” His arms tense, but he stays silent. “I can’t sit around here and watch you give up.”

  I’m out the door before Daniel can stop me. I have no idea where I’m going, only that I need to get away from the despair that hangs like a heavy layer of fog inside our bunkhouse. The streets are empty. Most people are probably at dinner now. It’s not a good idea to skip meals around here, but I can’t even think about eating. Not when my thin hold on normalcy is crumbling to pieces through my fingers.

  I need to come up with a new plan, one that doesn’t put Daniel’s sister at risk, but I can’t think. A sharp, cool breeze hits the front of my damp dress. How long have I been crying? Ever since we got out of Quarantine I’ve been pushing Daniel away, afraid of what could happen if I really opened my heart to him. But now that I’m staring at the real possibility of losing him forever, I realize I was only kidding myself.

  I can turn down his offers for evening walks and sit on the opposite side of the dining hall table till the end of time, but none of that has prevented me from falling in love with him. Eric was right. I tried to keep my distance, but even he could see the way I felt.

  “Hey there, what’s a pretty girl like you doing crying all alone?”

  The unfamiliar voice pulls me out of my stupor of self-pity. This is not an area of the PIT I’m familiar with. The streets are dotted with folks done with dinner and looking to fill the hours before total darkness claims the day. I’ve been gone much longer than I realized.

  I turn around to retrace my steps back to the bunkhouse, but a coarse, grimy hand reaches out and grabs my arm. “Not so fast, pretty lady. I asked you a question.”

  The gangly man grabs my other arm and spins me against the outer wall of a nearby bunkhouse. His short, dark hair is matted on top of his head and I can smell a week’s worth of filth on his skin when he leans in closer to me. He pushes one of his legs between mine and pins my shoulders to the wall with his skinny arms. I struggle against the pressure, but he’s stronger than he looks under the layers of grease and grime.

  “Something made the pretty lady sad. Bet I can give you something to cheer up your evening.”

  I scream out against the pressing darkness, but the people who dotted the streets just a minute ago have disappeared. The sun has all but set and I can barely see a couple feet to either side. I scream again, but the few people who might hear me don’t care.

  And why should they? When a girl in my own bunkhouse called out for help against the man assaulting her, I hid under my bunk.

  “Please don’t do this.” My voice comes out as weak whimper between the sobs that wrack my chest. I kick out with one of my legs, but the effort puts me off-balance and my foul attacker only increases his pressure against me.

  “Shut up now, if you know what’s good for you.” He presses his dirty nose against the side of my neck and inhales deeply, moving up past my ear. His pelvis pushes up against the front of my dress and another sob escapes from my throat when he lets out a low moan.

  Pinned against the wall, I’m defenseless against him. He reaches an arm down and runs an unwelcome hand under my skirt and up my thigh, tugging at my thin underpants. I close my eyes. Please let it be over soon.

  “Please.” My words are little more than a whisper now. “For the sake of the Cardinal, please don’t do this.”

  My attacker pulls back. He’s going to let me go. Instead, he shifts his left forearm across my chest so he can raise his right hand up to strike me. “I thought I told you to shut—”

  A crack echoes in the empty alley, and the rancid man who held me captive crumples into a heap at my feet. My legs won’t support me and I slide down the wall, the crunching sound of a guard’s baton beating against Molly’s head running on a loop through my brain.

  Strong arms lift me up into a cradle hold and practically run out of the alley. I should say something, anything, but I can’t form words around the sickening crunch echoing in my skull.

  The door to our bunkhouse opens, and the sight of familiar surroundings in the dim light of the moon finally re-engages my brain. “Daniel?”

  “It’s okay. We’re home now. You’re safe.” He lays me on my bunk, but I’m not ready to let go of him yet. I cling to his neck the way a small child clings to her mother after a nightmare.

  “You came for me.”

  Daniel guides my arms from around his neck but holds my hands against his chest until I stop shaking. “I’ll always come for you.”

  “Daniel, I—”

  “Tomorrow, okay?” He lifts my legs up to lay them on the bed and eases my head down onto the flat pillow. “We have a lot to talk about, but it can all wait until morning.”

  I grip his hand and pull it up to my cheek. His skin is rough but it feels like silk against my face. “Don’t leave me.”

  Daniel reaches behind him with his free hand and pulls a makeshift chair over next to my bed. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Twenty-Three

  A soft tapping sound interrupts the sleep I thought would never come. The first hint of pink sunlight shines in through the window, painting the room in scarlet hues. Daniel is at the table, hunched over and moving his hands along the top. Elizabeth is still snoring softly in the bunk next to mine.

  I lie still for
a minute to watch him. He came for me when everyone else ignored me. I pull the blanket up tighter under my chin and push the ugly pictures out of my head. That’s my savior sitting at the kitchen table and I’m going to keep him.

  Daniel looks up from whatever he’s working on and smiles at me. It’s not his wide, dimple-revealing smile. This one is more timid, less sure. He gets up from the table and slides into the chair he left by my bed. “Hi.”

  I force my mouth muscles into a smile and push myself into a sitting position. I want to stay curled up under the thin cover, but there isn’t time to waste in my fight to save our family. I still need to convince Daniel to help me.

  “Rebecca, I’m so sorry about last night.”

  I grab his hand and squeeze as hard as I can. This beautiful man came for me in the middle of the night and saved me from…from what could have happened. Yet here he sits, apologizing to me. “I should be the one saying sorry. I’m sorry I ran out like that. I’m sorry I—”

  Daniel lays his free hand over my lips, barely touching his skin to mine. I want so badly to nuzzle my head into that hand and let his warmth wash over me, clearing away every awful thing that’s happened since I set my feet on PIT soil.

  “I watched you walk out that door and the minute it closed behind you I realized how much I stand to lose when it comes to you. I can’t let that happen.”

  I want him to help me. I need him more than ever, but I can’t coerce him into it. If Eric’s betrayal taught me anything, it’s that going with the flow out of a sense of obligation will only lead to disappointment for everyone. “What about Patrice? I can’t let you pick me over your sister.”

  Daniel smiles, and this time his dimples are back. “You are amazing, but I’m not picking you over my sister.” He takes both my hands in his, covering my fingers with comfort and warmth. “I’m choosing everyone over my sister. It’s time the truth was revealed.”

  I squeeze his hand. We’re so close our knees are touching. Even that’s not enough. I want to lean into him and never let go, but I have to focus. “Does that mean you’re going to help me hack into the Acceptance ceremony?”